i have so many things to blog about today!!!!

i went for first service today instead of third, cos i had to go for fundraising in the afternoon. Perhaps it was fated, perhaps God had it planned out for me, i felt a very strong presence of God today.

Truthfully speaking, i have been feeling spiritually empty for the past few months, cos i couldn't feel the presence of God at all. I prayed and read the bible everyday, but i couldn't feel the holy spirtit at all, and at some point of time, I even thought that God did not want to use me afterall. Though i felt neglected, I pressed on and contiinue to believe that God wanted to test my faith for Him.

But today, i realised that God has been always with me.

I thought it would just be another service that I will worship, listen to the sermon and go. I decided not to take down any notes like how i usually did, cos i guess first service's sermons were not for me but more for the adults. However, the message came clear and strong, and I had no difficulty in understanding it. Revelations3 was a little too much for me though. Pastor Yang was very straightforward in feeding us with the facts, to the extent that I was overwhelmed even before altar call. The King is coming, we had to be watchful and be in a spirit of prayer all the time.

I wanted to skip altar call initially, cos I was a little frightened by the message. I dunno why, but I was like " God, is this for me? Or is this for the adults only? " But i responded to it and it really made a big difference. I stood there and prayed. For once, I decided to focus on God wholeheartedly, cos something inside me was stirring up. And I know that God was talking to me, and wanted me to adopt a prayer-led lifestyle. I was prayed for continuously by many people, and it was amazing how God manage to move my heart through these prayers. I'm really thankful for that. I was totally led by the holy spirit and I couldn't stand properly. Shaking uncontrollably, I found myself overwhelmed by the presence of God and the next moment, I was down on the ground. As I had no idea what was happening to me, I felt rather intimidated at first, but gradually, I started to feel peace within me. I took a really long time to recover. But now i know that God is with me and He lives in me. My heart is filled with peace and joy! =) There is an undescribable happiness within me. I think I had a breakthrough today! At least now I know that God is for real, and I can constantly remind myself of what happened today whenever I feel discouraged.

Oh, i learnt another thing today, I have to put live for God and not for my own interest, if not I will find myself living with dissastifaction.
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