Seriously wonder why I am still wide awake at this timing, rushing to finish my project. I think sometimes we force ourselves too much, depending too much on our own abilities and totally forgetting about drawing strength from God.

I've been journalling down my thoughts for the past few weeks and I'm really lazy to blog. But I think I should do it before it rots.

Thank God for this recess week. I spent a long time dwelling in God's presence on Tuesday while I was out for a morning jog. It was supposed to be a 20 mins jog, but it turned out to be an hour's talk with God. We didn't actually converse, but well it was just me talking to Him. It was really time worth spending with God, as He showed me many areas in my life that I have to change. I felt really convicted and was determined to change. There were two main messages that God tried to put across to me. 1) use the riches that God has blessed me with to bless others and meet their needs, NOT for my own pleasures. 2) to focus on God during worship, cos He is the only audience.

I was spiritually led to do some stuff during the jog as God revealed to me the first point. After taking the step of faith, I realised that it actually feels good to be able to bless others (even if the person is a total stranger).

The second point had dwelt in me for a couple of weeks. But i now know that I should just worship Him with all my heart. I would raise up my hands and kneel down if I'm spiritually led to. I would not go against the Holy Spirit, neither would i care abt others' opinions of me. Ultimately, I want to delight God, and NOT try to please the people around me. God wants to see our genuine heart!

Anw, the devil has placed lots of negative thoughts in my mind for the past few weeks. Seriously speaking, this is the toughest walk with God I had so far. But I'm not gonna hide from it or retreat, I'll walk in faith and really fight the battle with the spiritual weapons that I have been equipped with. I know I will win it, cos Jesus has overcome it for me on the cross.

God has been dealing with alot of things in my heart recently. He wants me to dig out my past which I am so reluctant to face yet I know I am unable to hide from Him forever. God I will learn, but it takes a little more time.
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