Saturday was ONE80 Launch! I went there straight after exco retreat. Inside my heart, i was really looking forward to it, but my physical body was dreading, and i was literally dragging my feet on my way there, cos there were so many things to take (sleeping bags, clothes, notes, laptop, etc). rev one80 was really good. the altar call wasn't just for newcomers only, but is also for leaders and membersafter that we went to Chris's house, which was WOOOOOWW! i love the place alot, not the house, but the rooftop area where you can have a good view of Singapore's CBD area. it is really nice. and the initial price wasn't very expensive too.

i was just crying during worship in service today for no reason. i guess God is really trying to break me. lots of thoughts came to my mind, thinking of those words that have hurt and affected me time and again. those memories that i wasn't willing to let go and allowed it to dwell in my heart. and i was reminded of Jesus, how He was being misunderstood, how He was persecuted by His own people, and had no grievances, but still chose to forgave. how Peter denied Him 3 times, but He still forgave and restored him. tears flowed, and my heart was softened. I had no reason to cry for my past, but i had reason to cry out for my family's salvation. God ignited such a fresh burden in my heart.

Jason's preaching of honouring our parents at Bethesda Cathedral also came in the right time. I thought nobody knew what i was going through, but i was amazed there were people with the same experiences. i struggled being a good child, didn't know how to communicate with my parents, didn't know how to share my everyday life with them. there were fears of rejections, ... but i know God will change that. He will definitely mend the relationship. and i have to learn to honour them cos they gave birth to me so that i could serve God now, no matter what had been done in the past, they still deserve my respect, as without them, i will not be in this world serving God. I prayed for one of the youths who responded, and i felt strongly that God was also praying all of those words over me. while i was ministering to others, God was ministering to me too. And i felt a sense of relief, cos i could pray without feeling any more hurts and pains, but a feeling of being released from my past. i feel so blessed. thank You Jesus.